wooop! NOTICE:

Moved my junks to friendster blog-

link: RENdezvous

Visit guys. thankss.

later this afternoon, after a long long long weeks, i saw him. the guy who's having the half of my heart. (aw.) as i walked on the corridor of our building floor(3rd). i saw him standing at the wall. i don't know how to greet him. actually, he's with his friends, or i guess blockmates. you know that awkward feeling, that after what happens, actually nothing really intimate happens, it's just that, he was actually a big part of my college life. (im not exaggerating here.).. i deeply known him since january(current year,) it all started with a text message and afterwards the typical "asaran" shared by friends, i was very comfortable when im with him, it feels like i've known him for so long..

i think. we really can talk about anything (under the sun). we stayed up soo late talking about anime. all of it. there's this time that i was very tired and sleepy in class because of him and he was like. duh. 'he's absent,' (very funny though). Honestly at first, i really don't like him. hmm. okay! no doubt, i like his eyes, his the typical 'chinito' which, is listed in my standards(yes, me and my b2 have guy standards,).. yes, and all of a sudden.. poof. a like him a lot. and i don't really know why.. okay. maybe i know why. i just can't admit it to myself that i am really falling for him. the guy who's been so annoying that really push you to kill people on your way. the guy who's really retarted and bastard.. hobbies is playing online games and consistent late in class. the guy who really doesn't know his future. the guy who's i don't know.

and then now. after knowing him that much, after knowing him deeply. and yes, i really fell in love with him and took me about 7 months to forget about him. and honestly, i don't know where will i start. it feels like the first time i saw him and know his name. it feels like that. they're all asking me.." why don't you greet each other?" yes, they're all asking me. not HIM.

i really miss him. really. everytime i saw him, i feel like. crying. okay. im not exagge. it's just that. he's with her now. the girl who's always our topic. the girl his eyeing. but i'm happy for him. atleast. he'll worry his life now. (laugh, it's a joke.)

Please.. Stay away from me. I hate you. i hate you..

i hate you so much that leads me to love you even more.

IHATEYOU-STAYAWAYFROMME

renafterhours: i hate you. stay away from me. : 15th post

i don't have any savings. im doomed, next next week will be our SEMIFINALS EXAMINATION. SUBMISSION OF SIMULATOR. START OF SURVEY INTERVIEW. and a lot more. speaking of simulator, i don't know if we can do that for just a lil span of time. i really need to talk to my groupmates, i don't wanna lose hope. i know we can do it. if there's a will there's a way as is it. lol

yesterday, as i encode our interview about the paralyzed dance instructor. there's this one line that really shot me from where i was sitted. it is said that

Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself, don't lose hope

come to think of it. i was really feeling sorry for myself and i was really losing my hope. thats what i usually do when i can't get things or can't do things perfectly, i pity myself all the time. well honestly, im quite good right know. i won't worry my life away.. no. i worry my life, a lot. stress,sleepy.stress.sleepy.

what's happening with you people. what's happening with me. i was really really confused. i am not emo. don't label me. i just. don't know what to do. i can't concentrate. i can't.

on the other side.. i saw him already.. after 3 long weeks. i saw him. we where on the school were we do the teaching stuff. my friend said "uy! here he comes." and i said "shhhh." haha. and then he noticed me and said "huwaw. super professional.. and something like.. "hirap ng maraming anak noh"" he was dumb busted. haha. and i thought he was the father.. whuu. just kidding. well i really like him though. yeah. i guess, it's just only an infatuation. the fact that
-he's in your dream every night.
-you want to see him more often.
-you want to talk nonsense things with him.
-you want to be by his side.
-you want to hold his arms.
-you want him to hugg you tight.
-you want him to kiss you goodnight.
-you want him to ask you if your home already.
-you want him to ask you if you already eaten your breakfast.lunch.dinner.
-you want to have the same keychain
-your really longing for him to summ it up.

i hate this feeling. t'was weird.. is this feeling felt by normal person?.. haha. i guess, well maybe i should end this.. i am somewhere in between.. i am nothing in between. worst. am i nothing?..

renafterhours:i'm somewhere in between : 14th post