honestly, i wasn't feeling well. i just pretend that i am. so that everybody here can't question me. look at you now ren, your so athropied, you're just like nothing. you feel like a trash. anybody can throw you away anywhere.

i got a red, yes, bloody grade in one of my major subjects, it was not good obviously, but i pretend that it's okay. so my friends can't question me. i can't tell to my mom that i have that bloodish grade this midterm grading. duh-hell is happening. i am not in myself today, i mean, when school starts, i am not in myself, i just want to feel free. i want to run away from here,

yesterday, i thought t'was the one of my best day of my life. i was happy that morning then. we went to TPI. and was really really kewl. the place was soo. refreshing.. when you thought that there's no place like home. there is. the place where people feel like there's no problems at all. you can see nature. at it's best. i salute people over talisay, they manage to make their sorroundings clean, neat and 100% original.

but then when i arrived at my so called home. everythings just fade. my mom and dad and me fought about this stupid thing! that thing! shit happens when you didn't expect it to happen. i was thrown. im wasted. lost. and giving up.

and now im currently, i want to do something else. i want to go out. stay out. and feel free. i want to do the old things. that honestly. i get over with. i want them back. but that's really impossible, you know that. i can't concentrate, in my studies, in my friends, in my self, in my life. in everything to summ it up. duhheell is happening... watduhhel...

prentending, that someone else would come and save me from myself..

lord just didn't want me to stop there, i know it's wrong to question him about what was happening. he changed me a lot when i started to know more about him. and honestly, i just don't want to let go. i'll hold unto him so tight. so i can't let go.

renafterhours:i am so wasted:eleventh post